Lance Armstrong reportedly couldn’t handle Sheryl Crow’s need for marriage and children and subsequently dumped her back in 2005. According to the new book about the Tour de France King, aptly titled “Lance” (no jazz hands despite the fact I feel their should be) he grew tired of the baby argument. (As in he didn’t want her to crap one out, but wasn’t opposed to dating them. Enter Ashley Olsen.)

Per “Lance” Via NY Post:

“She wanted marriage, she wanted children; and not that I didn’t want that, but I didn’t want that at that time because I had just gotten out of a marriage, I’d just had kids [Luke, Grace and Bella],” Armstrong, 37, reveals. “Yet we’re up against her biological clock — that pressure is what cracked it.”

He went on to reveal to the “Lance” author that his baby making skills are a gift.

“Because if somebody wants a child — man, that’s the greatest gift you can give to a woman — so who are you to stand there and say I don’t want one. So we were at different points in our lives. We were not compatible on that issue.”

Crow said screw that noise and it May 2007 she adopted a two week old baby boy she named Wyatt Steven Crow. Even Armstrong is expecting another addition despite his lack of interest in having more children. His current girlfriend, Anna Hansen announced her pregnancy last December and is expected to deliver next month.

It takes balls to say something like that. Errr…I guess it only takes a uni-ball to say something like that. Anyway…the point? Sheryl Crow is hot, Lance Armstong is a fertile but stingy uni-ball and it’s a really slow news day.

Images Via: Wenn, Splash

If you listened to music about four years ago, you may remember a singer named Ashanti. She had a few songs of her own, sold a few albums. Most importantly, she started showing up with rappers like Fat Joe and Ja Rule on their songs. Coattails…gotta love them.

However, you probably haven’t heard of her recently. That’s likely due to the fact that her last album, ‘The Declaration’, failed to bring in the numbers that her earlier work did. The last time I heard of her was when she spent a couple months making out with Jesse Metcalf for the flick “John Tucker Must Die”, which believe it or not, I love.

Her lack of appeal hasn’t gone unnoticed by her boss, Irv Gotti-label head for The Inc. (formerly Murder Inc. Records). He announced recently that Ashanti and her label are parting ways.

Via MTV News:

“The relationship has run its course. The chemistry of what’s needed — we’re in two totally different places. You’re talking to somebody that took her and shaped and molded her and put her out there for the world, and it blew up. We [hold the record] for the [fastest] selling debut by a female R&B artist — 503 [thousand]. We did it! My views and philosophies and her views and philosophies are not meeting up.”

This is bad news for Ashanti’s esthetician who was likely making nice cash keeping those sideburns of hers under control.

On the bright side, Ashanti is rumored to have turned down a scholarship to Yale in order to pursue her music career. Maybe they’ll reconsider reinstating it?

One of the worlds most desirable men constantly has females throwing himself at him, including two female co-stars if you believe the rumors out there. But it looks as though our favorite vampire can’t get enough female attention! According to new rumors, Robert Pattinson has been frequenting a local Vancouver strip club while in town to shoot his “Twilight” sequel, “New Moon.” While spending time at Brandi’s Exotic Nightclub on more than one occasion, Sparklepants has apparently taken a liking to a curvy adult entertainer named Kendra who gave him a private lap dance on his first visit.

Per Star Magazine:

“She’s very pretty and very sexy,” one insider at Brandi’s says about the object of Rob’s affection. “She reminds me of Bo Derek in 10.”

Robert must have liked what he saw because he was said to have returned asking for her specifically two days later. *Cue the crying teenage fangirls* But just what does the 5′7″ Blonde stripper who caught Sparklepants eye have to say?

Per The Examiner:

“[Rob] is not a great tipper, but that’s OK because he was sweet.”

Anyone else thinks its funny that pictures of his every move are floating around all over, yet no pictures of this supposed event have shown up yet? The proof is in the pictures… whereas, as of right now, there isn’t any. Yes, it’s ridiculous. Someone alert the church elders! A single man in his twenties with gobs of cash likes strip joints. *Note sarcasm.

[Keep Clicking Thumbnails for a Larger Image]

Images Via: Splash, IMBD, Twilighters

Agyness Deyn attended the Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Gala looking like she walked out of an old Hollywood film. The model making headway in the fashion world was adorned in some of Bulgari’s finest work. She combined vintage glamour with a modern flair.

Personally I am a fan of Bulgari’s fragrance Omnia Amethyste. To add to the brand’s growing appeal, a skin care line is now being offered. The addition has everything from cleansing to regenerating items. Yours truly will be sampling and reviewing some of the new skincare line. So keep your eyes open for the upcoming Bulgari Skincare Line review.

First and foremost ‘Lost’ fans-this week’s episode, “Follow the Leader” was total old school, bad-ass ‘Lost’. It didn’t focus on one person, it made you think, it made you rewind your Tivo 10-12 times, but most importantly, it reminded you why ‘Lost’ is currently the best show on television.

At the end of the show, I sat there with my jaw dropped. Once I composed myself, I started jumping up and down and squealing like I was a 13 year-old who just found out her dad scored Jonas Brothers tickets. It was beyond awesome. It was beyond amazing. It was vintage ‘Lost’.

Vintage ‘Lost’ is a surreal thing. It’s the kind of ‘Lost’ that makes your heart beat fast and keeps you awake for another hour (or two) after the show is over because you can’t stop thinking about it (Remember when Walt was taken? I didn’t sleep for days.). You know it’s vintage when you get to work in the morning and your inbox is already flooded with emails from your husband and your friend Lou speculating about what happened. I love Thursdays like this.

Back to the episode: The episode was titled “Follow the Leader”. It was a good title as we got to see what life is like if you follow each of the three leaders of the island: Jack, Locke, and that other guy who never should have been a leader…Sawyer. I will break this down by leader. It makes it easier.

Continue Reading Completely Lost - Recap After the Cut - Click “Read More…”

Team One: Jack

This is my team. I have been team Jack since episode one. My youngest son is named Jack. Coincidence? Actually yes, but I like to pretend it isn’t.

We begin by seeing Daniel get plugged from Jack and Kate’s point of view. Before they have a chance to react, they’re jumped by hostiles including a younger Chuck Widmore. I must throw this out: the hair, it bothers me. You look much better in ’07. Bald is beautiful.

As Ellie reads Daniel’s journal, Jack gets the business from the butt of gun. I don’t like this. Bloodied-up Jack makes me sad. He’s tough, though. It doesn’t phase him because he is awesome.

After being taken back to the tent of the Mother-Of-The-Year, Ellie asks Jack what needs to be done and he tells her to do what the journal says. This scene would be great except for one thing: Kate. Blah. She’s like the color beige. She just sits there not really adding anything to the situation until you notice her and realize how much you wish you had painted the walls another color. She tries to throw the sex eyes at Jack, but he’s not having it anymore. He’s done with you Kate. Just like me, only he took a lot longer to get to this point.

Ellie decides to take Jack and Kate to meet Jughead but not without protest from Widmore who reminds Ellie of her “condition”. I am pretty sure everyone called this last week: she’s knocked up with Daniel. Awe. Me and the Black Tie are the same age. I feel so connected to him.

Ellie isn’t taking any guff from anyone, so she, Richard and his brows, Kate, Jack, and a random (who didn’t see his fate coming?) head off to meet up with Jughead.

After Richard explains that, to get to the bomb without going through Dharma territory, they would have to swim through a tunnel, Kate declines to follow. I am assuming she didn’t want to get her hair wet. However, she starts her whole, “You guys are crazy” whine that she seems to do every-other episode and takes off into the jungle. Shots ring out. For a moment, the expression on Kate’s face made me think I had struck gold. SHE’S DEAD! Huzzah! Wrong. It was Sayid. He pops up outta nowhere and plugged the random.

This is why Jack’s team is my team. Jack + Sayid = the way to go. Who wouldn’t follow Sayid? The dude was in the Republican Guard. The dude can break a neck with his feel while his hands are ties behind his back. The dude rocks a tank top. Seriously, who is following Sawyer and Miles when you can follow Jack and Sayid?

Poor Sayid, though. He thinks he killed Ben. And he has to sit and listen to Kate give him the business as to why she chose to save Ben. She’s a hag. I wish Sayid would have backhanded her. She deserves it.

Kate leaves (sometimes, prayers are answered) and Sayid follows Jack underwater into the temple where Jughead has been kept since the 1950’s.

It was revealed that the bomb lies beneath Dharmatown. All that radiation must have something to do with the women not being able to get pregnant right? WRONG! This was my first thought until I remembered…women CAN get pregnant, they just can’t carry their babies past the second term. The body rejects the fetus. Radiation wouldn’t do that. If radiation had anything to do with it, they would all be sterile. But we saw the opposite happen to Jin.

Team Two: Sawyer (groan!)

We pick up with Sawyer and Juliette where we left off last week. They’re tied up. Sawyer is getting the business from Radzinski (who is looking so much like Paul Giamatti that I am expecting him to start complaining about Dharma merlot).

For a brief, shining moment, I thought Sawyer was going to do it. He wasn’t going to cave. Then Phil smacked Jules (note to self: send Phil thank you card), and Sawyer caves. He agrees to draw a map to the hostiles in exchange for a one way ticket back to civilization for himself and his common law wife. Gross. I am so ashamed. I really hope he drew a map of Disneyland or something, but I don’t care. You disappoint Sawyer.

We also get to see Hurley stocking up on food as he, Miles, and Jin prepare to make a run for it. Pierre Chang (is anyone else annoyed with his name? Too generic), spots him and follows.

What goes down next is the best dialogue of the show. Chang gives Hurley a history quiz which he fails miserably. Not only is Hurley unable to name Jimmy Carter as president, he also has no idea that the Korean War happened much to the chagrin of myself and Jin (did you catch that?). Shout-out to LA Pubic Schools. Whoop whoop! Being a history teacher though, I must defend my comrades. Does it even matter who the pres was in ’77? Not really. However, the war in Korea was kinda important.

Chang now realizes they are from the future and that Miles is his son. There is a touching moment. I passed gas. Touching moments on ‘Lost’ are reserved only for Penny and Desmond. Sorry.

Per Faraday’s request, Chang orders the evacuation of all women and children (and Sawyer and Jules). As I called before, this is why Charlotte leaves the island and Baby Miles and Mrs. Chang. And, in the most predictable moment yet, we see Pierre yelling at Mama Chang to get her to leave. Alas, Miles knows the truth. His father loved him. Wow. A Dad issue resolved on ‘Lost’. Weird.

Sawyer and Jules pack their bags and jump down into the sub for a little R&R. Sawyer bids good riddance to the island and I prepare to puke. To add to my nausea, I had to sit through Jules and Sawyer’s “No, I love YOU more!” conversation. Naturally, enter Kate who is being put on the sub to be sent away since she is “bad”. Doesn’t it seem weird that Radzinski would beat the tar out of Sawyer, but not question Kate at all? It doesn’t matter. She’s on the sub now, heading for home. At this point, I am hoping for the sub to explode. I can’t take these three at all. None of them can make a solid decision and, to be honest, I am not sure any of the three of them could make it in Ann Arbor-the winters are harsh.

Team Three: Locke (I came this close to joining…)

I love the character of John Locke. He’s flawed, yet has purpose. I really love how one minute he’s this rogue badass knife-thrower, and the next he is crying about his dad. Terry O’Quinn is fantastic in the role as well. He will always be John Locke…which is probably bad news to the real John Locke who is now wondering why he bothered with all that unalienable rights stuff.

Locke, as you recall, is chillin’ on the island in 2007, 30 years later. He, along with Sun and Ben, show up at Richard’s place with a boar. Taken aback that Locke did not bring wine, Richard looks confused.

Richard asks Locke what’s different about him. The hair? Or lack thereof? According to Locke it’s neither. He has a purpose. Um, OK.

During this conversation, Sun asks Ben about Richard. She lacks asking the right questions: Why doesn’t he age? Who is his esthetician? Instead she asks about his role on the island and Ben reveals that Richard is an “advisor”. She quickly asks him about Jin and the others stuck in 1977. Richard confirms that he knows those people on because he watched them die. Now, I am inclined to believe that he is merely referring to the Dharma purge and not specific people. What if Ben and Richard conducted the purge because the bomb that should have killed everyone in 1977 didn’t detonate because Jack hadn’t gone back in time to do so? Anyone? Anyone?

It doesn’t matter. Locke gets his compass back from Richard who has been hanging on to it since the 1950’s, and leads him and Ben to Yemi’s drug plane. Locke explains to Richard that a scene we have already seen is about to play out and that Richard will have to remove a bullet from Locke’s leg and tell him to bring everyone back, oh, and die. Yes. He has to die.

I have to admit, this scene was pretty sweet. We see the same scene we saw at the beginning of the season play out again, only now it takes on a much different meaning. Did anyone think at that time that Locke was in the jungle hangin’ with Ben watching himself have this conversation with Richard? Didn’t think so. Even though Richard told us at the beginning of the season that Locke himself told him to relay that info to, um, Locke himself. So weird. The grammar checker is going crazy with this section.

My favorite part of all this was listening to my husband complain that there was no way Locke could have known that time traveling Locke was about to appear. I told him the answer was easy: The island told him. Naturally, I was right. Locke told that to Ben when Ben asked the same question. Therefore, my ‘Lost’ knowledge > my husband’s ‘Lost’ knowledge. Sorry honey.

The three report back to the camp where Locke gathers his people to head over to Jacob’s place for an evening of cheese and crackers and a little euchre. Richard and Ben both don’t seem to like this idea. In fact, Ben even admits to trying to kill Locke to prevent him from doing stuff like this. But Locke doesn’t care. He has a purpose now right? And according to him, that purpose is to kill Jacob.

This leads me to Crista’s crazy/off-the-wall theory of the week:

You are really going to need to stick with me on this one. It makes complete and total sense in my head, but when I ran it passed the husband last night, he got that look in his eyes. You know, the “…how much more of this before I have her committed?” look. So please, hear me out.

A while ago, I began my speculation that Jack and Jacob are the one in the same. I provided you with some examples to back this decision: The people who communicate on behalf of Jacob are Jack’s blood relatives (his dad and half sister), all we have seen of Jacob his eye, which is how the show ‘Lost’ began-we see Jack’s eye open (and both eyes are the same shade of brown).

This week’s episode ends with Locke stating that he and his people have to go to Jacob so Locke can kill him. Locke needs to kill Jacob/Jack because in Jack’s present (which is 1977), Jack is going to destroy the island by detonating Jughead. Locke cannot allow the island to be destroyed. He is a man of faith. Jack cannot allow the island to exist. He is a man of science.

Let us not forget that the crux of this show has been the struggle between Jack and Locke. Both are leaders. Both are opposite. Yet both need one another to survive. Jack would never have known his purpose of returning to the island without Locke’s suicide note and Locke would never have been resurrected on the island without Jack giving him his father’s shoes. Right?

This leads me to think that Ilana and Bram (you know, the “What lies in the shadow of the statue?” folks) work for Jack. Somehow, alternate future Jack has hired them to stop Locke from shooting Jacob (aka himself). This would mean that Widmore is working on behalf of Locke. He wanted to get Locke to the island to stop Jack from blowing it up thirty years earlier. This would also mean that Eloise Hawking is working on behalf of Jack. She threw all that destiny stuff at him to get him to go back to the island to detonate the bomb.

Does anyone else follow me? I really hate it when I sound like I know what I am talking about in my head, yet when I write it down it looks like stuff the crazy guy who used to dress as a policeman in my hometown would write on his arm.

We also need to think of things in terms of the “present”. We as fans are allowing ourselves to be confused with time travel and what’s in the past and what’s the present, etc. Stop and listen to the Tie: Faraday told us that, no matter when they are, it’s their present. So, right now, BOTH 1977 and 2007 are the present. For Jack, the present is ’77, for Locke, ’07. Does everyone follow?

Naturally though, there are skeptics to this; none more so skeptical than my dear friend Lou. You see, Lou is the Locke to my Jack, the Richard to my Horace. He always challenges me. In fact, I believe that is Lou’s purpose in life: to constantly challenge me. It’s fine because I like it.

What I don’t like is when Lou makes a valid point like he did today:

Via Lou:

“Jack thinks he needs to destroy the island. What if by trying to destroy the island, he fails, but causes some kind of damage that is what makes them have to enter the numbers and what makes the plane crash? Maybe if he hadn’t done anything and just left it alone, everything would remain stable and the plane would never crash. You can’t make a decision about what should have been done differently when you only know the outcome. Knowing the actions that led to it are way more important. So how does he know that when he’s trying to do something different to change it, he’s not actually doing what caused the problem in the first place?”

Bollocks to you Lou!

He also added a little snipit that went something like this:

“Let’s say someone from the future told me I was going to die in October. So, for the month of October I hid in my basement so nothing could kill me, but a tornado hits my house and it falls on me and kills me. What would have been different if I hadn’t know I was going to die? Would I have been hiding in my basement? No. But I still would have died.”

This ties into another theory about Desmond. Remember when Desmond had visions of Charlie’s death? He kept postponing Charlie’s death by saving him, but , in the end, Charlie’s death is inevitable.

According to my husband, this is what is happening with Locke and Jack. The bomb will kill everyone on the island. Jack is assisting in that by trying to detonate it, but Locke is being all Desmond-like by trying to delay that by killing Jacob/Jack. In the end though, the bomb will somehow destroy the island.

Thanks to next week’s previews, I think we can pretty much assume that Kate, Sawyer, and Jules don’t make it too far on the sub. We saw them, trying to be badasses and stop Jack. Word to the wise: You can’t stop Jack and Sayid.

Two hour finale next week. My brain will be fried. May take me a few days to get the post up so keep checking.

Until then: Namaste.

The Material Girl is planning on giving 16 free concerts as part of her “Sticky & Sweet European Tour.” The tour is scheduled to kick off in London on July 4, with a schedule stop in Russia on August 2 at Palace Square, home of the State Hermitage Museum - that is, if Madonna can manage to behave herself. Hermitage Director Mikhail Piotrovsky has expressed his doubt whether Palace Square was a suitable place for the concert, and has requested that Madonna guarantee her concert would contain absolutely no swearing or blasphemy. Piotrovski is also forcing Madonna to sign an agreement that would keep her from playing music too loudly. In other words Madonna, don’t be yourself and act your age for once!

Per RIA Novosti:

“Hermitage Director Mikhail Piotrovsky signed the documentation allowing the concert by Madonna on Dvortsovaya Ploshchad (Palace Square). All requirements for holding concerts on Dvortsovaya Ploshchad have been met,” the promoter Planet Plus said.

Local authorities are said to be furious about the concert plans, branding the schedule event as a “natural disaster.” The St. Petersburg’s culture committee already gave Madonna the approval for the concert, which is expecting to bring in about 50,000 fans. The Hermitage Museum is one of the world’s largest and oldest exhibition facilities. Founded in 1764, it houses some of Russia’s most important works of art. Letting Madonna anywhere near a place like that just had disaster written all over it.

Russia doesn’t have nearly as much tolerance as the US or UK. If she gets up there and starts using “naughty” words she is likely to never come out… But maybe that would be for the best!

[Keep Clicking Thumbnails for a Larger Image]

Image Via: Bauer Griffin

Ok…so I admit that I am not a Gossip Girl fan and could only stand 3.7 minutes before thinking, “I’m not getting paid to watch this shiz. Ooo! Jimmy Johns is still open!” However, I dig the name Serena van der Woodsen as I was once branded with the name Anabelle Beaverhausen. (Long story on that one kittens.)

Regardless, the show has a following and apparently Anna Sui is a fan. The designer is creating a line for Target that encompasses the style of the show. September 13 through October 17th a select 250 Target stores will feature the collection.

Via WWD:

“I have always been a fan of designer partnerships with mass retailers,” said Sui. “I think it is a great way to bring fashion to everyone. I love Go International and was intrigued with Target’s new take on designer partnerships. It’s a fresh approach. I was able to select a muse or source of creative inspiration to focus the collection around.”

Sui is known for producing fashion collections that are more accessible to the everyday woman on the street. So I am predicting this will be a wise venture.

[Keep Clicking Thumbnails for a Larger Image]

Images Via: Wiki, IMBD, NY Mag

“God may have taken Bush away, but he gave us comedians Joe Biden.”

-Jay Leno

Cam Gigandet Does His Best Blue Steel - Ten Gossip

Sabretooth Wants Some Sleep - Knocked Up Celebes

Hayden Panettiere Thinks Babies Are Icky - Gossip Teen

Aisleyne Encounter Details - Allie is Wired

Paula Abdul is Just “Here for the Music” Y’all - Bumpshack

Solange’s Desperation Cover Some Bjork - Ear Sucker

Brooke Hogan Still Pretending Not to be a Dude - Celebrity Smack

Michelle Obama Can Tell You How to Get to Sesame Street - Daily Stab

Beyonce Wears Lifts - Backseat Cuddler

Some Advice For Watching Wolverine - Daily Accidental