Ashlee Simpson went ham sandwich crazy on her hubby’s ex girlfriend. While at the DJ Hero party on Monday night, the infamous lip synch-er lost her shiz and had to be restrained from cutting Michelle.

Some idiot sat Pete Wentz and Ashlee directly across from Michelle Trachtenberg. (Petey and Michelle used to bump super uglies.) Things started out ok as they all chatted civilly and Mrs. Wentz even shared a baby picture of Bronx.

Enter alcohol. Simpson hit the booze and started to get mouthy…and slutty according to source who dished to Perez Hilton.

“The crescendo of the night occurred when an increasingly loud and obnoxious Simpson began to give Wentz a lap dance. “She was staring directly at Michelle and starting hurling insults at her,” a source tells us. “She was grinding up on Pete like a stripper. It was actually pretty disgusting!”

Clearly out of control, Asslee screamed at Michelle, “I hope you know, the whole time you were dating Pete, I was f**king him!”

Michelle, being a classier ho, told Ashlee to sit down.

“I’ve never said bad things about you. I’m happy for you guys.”

This didn’t sit well with the drunken “singer” and she then got in Trachtenberg’s face. At this point Pete wasn’t doing anything about it and Mark Hoppus’ wife had to physically restrain the out of control beast.

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Images Via: Wenn, x17

So it’s Friday afternoon and I am trying to enjoy my Kashi and with a nice Chianti when fully nude uncensored photos of Rihanna make there way to my desk. So at this point I could be writing about the secret of life or that Bigfoot lives in my bathroom and no one would care. So hinkle dinkle do on to Rihanna’s naughty photos.

The NSFW Photosare after the cut. Click “Read More…”

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Images Via: Egotastic

Lance Armstrong reportedly couldn’t handle Sheryl Crow’s need for marriage and children and subsequently dumped her back in 2005. According to the new book about the Tour de France King, aptly titled “Lance” (no jazz hands despite the fact I feel their should be) he grew tired of the baby argument. (As in he didn’t want her to crap one out, but wasn’t opposed to dating them. Enter Ashley Olsen.)

Per “Lance” Via NY Post:

“She wanted marriage, she wanted children; and not that I didn’t want that, but I didn’t want that at that time because I had just gotten out of a marriage, I’d just had kids [Luke, Grace and Bella],” Armstrong, 37, reveals. “Yet we’re up against her biological clock — that pressure is what cracked it.”

He went on to reveal to the “Lance” author that his baby making skills are a gift.

“Because if somebody wants a child — man, that’s the greatest gift you can give to a woman — so who are you to stand there and say I don’t want one. So we were at different points in our lives. We were not compatible on that issue.”

Crow said screw that noise and it May 2007 she adopted a two week old baby boy she named Wyatt Steven Crow. Even Armstrong is expecting another addition despite his lack of interest in having more children. His current girlfriend, Anna Hansen announced her pregnancy last December and is expected to deliver next month.

It takes balls to say something like that. Errr…I guess it only takes a uni-ball to say something like that. Anyway…the point? Sheryl Crow is hot, Lance Armstong is a fertile but stingy uni-ball and it’s a really slow news day.

Images Via: Wenn, Splash

Agyness Deyn attended the Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Gala looking like she walked out of an old Hollywood film. The model making headway in the fashion world was adorned in some of Bulgari’s finest work. She combined vintage glamour with a modern flair.

Personally I am a fan of Bulgari’s fragrance Omnia Amethyste. To add to the brand’s growing appeal, a skin care line is now being offered. The addition has everything from cleansing to regenerating items. Yours truly will be sampling and reviewing some of the new skincare line. So keep your eyes open for the upcoming Bulgari Skincare Line review.

Ok…so I admit that I am not a Gossip Girl fan and could only stand 3.7 minutes before thinking, “I’m not getting paid to watch this shiz. Ooo! Jimmy Johns is still open!” However, I dig the name Serena van der Woodsen as I was once branded with the name Anabelle Beaverhausen. (Long story on that one kittens.)

Regardless, the show has a following and apparently Anna Sui is a fan. The designer is creating a line for Target that encompasses the style of the show. September 13 through October 17th a select 250 Target stores will feature the collection.

Via WWD:

“I have always been a fan of designer partnerships with mass retailers,” said Sui. “I think it is a great way to bring fashion to everyone. I love Go International and was intrigued with Target’s new take on designer partnerships. It’s a fresh approach. I was able to select a muse or source of creative inspiration to focus the collection around.”

Sui is known for producing fashion collections that are more accessible to the everyday woman on the street. So I am predicting this will be a wise venture.

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Images Via: Wiki, IMBD, NY Mag

“God may have taken Bush away, but he gave us comedians Joe Biden.”

-Jay Leno

Cam Gigandet Does His Best Blue Steel - Ten Gossip

Sabretooth Wants Some Sleep - Knocked Up Celebes

Hayden Panettiere Thinks Babies Are Icky - Gossip Teen

Aisleyne Encounter Details - Allie is Wired

Paula Abdul is Just “Here for the Music” Y’all - Bumpshack

Solange’s Desperation Cover Some Bjork - Ear Sucker

Brooke Hogan Still Pretending Not to be a Dude - Celebrity Smack

Michelle Obama Can Tell You How to Get to Sesame Street - Daily Stab

Beyonce Wears Lifts - Backseat Cuddler

Some Advice For Watching Wolverine - Daily Accidental

Lindsay Lohan stopped by Ellen Degeneres to talk about her very public break up with Samantha Ronson.

[Lindsay Lohan on Ellen Degeneres- Video]

Lindsay came clean saying that the restraining order put into effect by the Ronson family is true. Lohan looked frail and I would happily drown my sorrows in a double double with her if puts a few pounds on her.

She also revealed that she was clueless when it came to Sam dumping her. Lohan threw her hands up in disbelief and affirmed that she hadn’t seen Ronson in a week and “she disappeared.” They then broke up and she stuck to her guns saying that she didn’t cheat. Lohan also aired out the fact that her father, Michael Lohan, cheated on her mother all the time.

The interview came to close with Linds stating that she still has hopes for her and Samantha’s relationship. It was kinda sad.

Via E! Online:

“I really care about Samantha and we’ll see what happens. Maybe when we’re fully in the right place. And I love her.”

She also mentioned her career during the interview and had she been on a radio show you would have heard the sound of a toilet flushing. But seriously Lohan….your weave probably weighs more than you do. Eat something that isn’t in liquid or powder form.

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Images Via: Wenn

According to Essence Jennifer Hudson is pregnant. Several sources squealed to the mag that J-Hud is expecting her first baby. She is currently engaged to David Otunga, who you might recognize from “I Love New York 2” as one the hopefuls after the deliciously trashy reality ho’s heart.

They are said to be getting married after Hudson finishes her tour with Robin Thicke. Meanwhile the Harvad alumni is kicking it in Florida trying to achieve Professional Wrestler stardom. (I say that with a straight face because it is not something I made up as you are probably assuming.)

Hudson was spotted with a rather decent sized bump at the 2009 Women’s Empowerment Series in Indianapolis last month. Is it baby or a burrito?

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Images Via: Celeb Wohoo

[Beyonce Real, Live Vocals - Audio]

Good ol’ TMZ got a hold of an audio clip of Beyonce’s live vocals during her November “Today Show” appearance. First, Howard Stern aired out the pre-shopped vocals on his radio show. Typically Beyonce has some back up singers and a song board to buffer out all the bad. It isn’t as bad as Britney Spears’ live vocals (see below.)

[Britney Spears’ Real, Live Vocals]

See…it could always be worse.